


I can totally jump that!

by AnselaJonla



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Gen, Mission Reports, POV Multiple, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 22:52:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17817062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnselaJonla/pseuds/AnselaJonla
Summary: On the Abel Township Noticeboard, the phrase "I can totally jump that" was once banned from being uttered over comms during missions. Here is why.





	1. Chapter 1

**MISSION REPORT - SUBMIT TO JANINE DE LUCA ONCE COMPLETED**

 

 **NAME / NUMBER:** Sam Yao, no number because SOMEONE won’t let me have one

 **ROLE (delete as appropriate):** ~~**RUNNER** ~~ **/ RADIO OPERATOR /** ~~**MEDIC** **/** **OTHER** ~~

**MISSION PARAMETERS:** Scout and scavenge

 **REPORT (be concise, but** **_use whole sentences_ ** **; use Runner numbers not names** **)**

I sent ~~Simon and Jody~~ Runners 3 and 4 out to scout that village a few miles to the east of Abel, the one on the over side of the river, where ~~Sara~~ 8 thinks she saw someone moving in one of the buildings. They were supposed to bring back anything useful they found, if no one was actually living there. They managed this, but their direct route back was cut-off by zoms. That happens, I already had a few other routes planned out just in case. Trying to be organised and useful, like you’re always nagging at me to be.

I was following them on long range cams the whole way. When I switched to the one covering that old wooden bridge, I noticed that there was a great big hole in it. I told 3 and 4 that there was a hole, and that I’d find another route for them.

3 ignored my instructions to change route, and continued to the bridge. He then said something stupid like “I can totally jump that” and JUMPED the gap. Some more planks collapsed under his weight on the run up though, making an even bigger gap. And even more broke when he landed on them. Did I mention he was wearing a backpack full of tinned food at the time, making him even heavier than normal? He didn’t land very well, because of the bridge literally breaking under him. He started complaining about having broken something.

4 is more intelligent than 3, and decided not to copy his idiotic stunt. I sent her along the river to the next bridge. Some zoms were moving towards her, so I told 3 to use his noisemaker to get them to go towards him and fall in the river instead. So he started yelling “here zombie wombies, a nice human for you to eat, totally injured so I can’t run away”. That is NOT using a noisemaker!

I was going to have 4 go back for him, but he wasn’t THAT badly hurt and managed to get up and hobble to meet up with her on his own. They came back to Abel, I yelled at 3 for a bit, and sent him to Maxie who also yelled at him for being a stupid egotistical idiot.


	2. Chapter 2

**MISSION REPORT - SUBMIT TO JANINE DE LUCA ONCE COMPLETED**

 

 **NAME / NUMBER:** Simon Lauchlan, Runner 3

 **ROLE (delete as appropriate): RUNNER /** ~~**RADIO OPERATOR / MEDIC / OTHER** ~~

**MISSION PARAMETERS:** Look for life and find food

 **REPORT (be concise, but** **_use whole sentences_ ** **; use Runner numbers not names** **)**

It was a lovely day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and there were no zoms anywhere to be seen. Sam sent us to check out a report from Sara that there might have been someone living in that village on the other side of the river. There was no one there when we arrived, but someone HAD been there recently. We did our little scavenging thing, and found loads of food to bring back, Jody even found several jars of COFFEE, then headed for home.

Sam told us to go a different way, because he saw a couple of zoms on the direct route. He’s such a worrywart, they probably would have wandered away before we reached them, and we can totally outrun a few shamblers even with full packs. But we were good little Runners and went the way Sam said.

He tried to change our route again because there was a little hole in the bridge. It was barely anything, just a couple of planks missing. I told him I could jump it, and I did. A couple more planks fell off, and I slipped a bit on the landing, but it was still fine. Jody wimped out though, and let Sam send her MILES out of her way to one that didn’t have a hole in it. He had me distract a couple of zoms so she could get away. I did, even though Jody could have easily got away on her own.

I had a little rest, watched the zoms fall in the river in their eagerness to eat my delicious tanned flesh, and then ran on to meet Jody and get back to Abel. Sam bent my ear about listening to his instructions, Sara loomed menacingly behind him because she ALWAYS takes his side, and then the Doc took a look at the ankle that slipped and declared me still fit for duty.

Dibs on at least one cup of that coffee.


	3. Chapter 3

**MISSION REPORT - SUBMIT TO JANINE DE LUCA ONCE COMPLETED**

 

**NAME / NUMBER:** Jody Marsh, Runner 4

**ROLE (delete as appropriate): RUNNER /** ~~**RADIO OPERATOR / MEDIC / OTHER** ~~

**MISSION PARAMETERS:** Scout and find food

**REPORT (be concise, but** **_use whole sentences_ ** **; use Runner numbers not names)**

Sam sent me and Three out to find out if anyone was living in a village nearby. Eight thinks she saw someone there recently. It looked like someone had been staying there, but they already moved on before we arrived. We had a rummage around for food and other useful stuff. We filled our packs with tinned food, jars, and a few other small things that we could squeeze in around the big stuff.

Sam told us to take a different route back because of zoms on the quick way. Three grumbled, something about his place on the scoreboard, but he changed direction. We found the bridleway that led to a bridge over the river. It’s not that overgrown, and might be a useful route if we can fix the bridge at some point.

Sam told us it was broken, and that we should stay on the path while he looked at the cams to find an alternative way over the river. We’d picked up a few zoms at this point, but they were really far back so we weren’t worried.

When we saw the bridge, nearly half of it was a HOLE. The gap was easily four feet, maybe more. The remaining planks really didn’t look safe. Three decided he could jump it anyway. A couple more planks cracked on the run up, and the one he pushed off from BROKE as he jumped. Too much weight, I think. The ones he landed on also broke, and he crashed down. I’m amazed he didn’t end up in the river. He started moaning about how he’d totally broken his ankle when he landed.

He tried to get me to follow, but I’m not that stupid. He made the hole at least two foot wider with his behaviour. Sam told me there was another bridge, made of metal instead of wood, about two miles downstream, so I went to cross that. He told Three to use his noisemaker to stop the zoms from following me, but he decided to yell at them instead. It’s always so CREEPY when he talks about being delicious. It’s like he WANTS to be eaten.

His ankle clearly wasn’t broken, because he met up with me after I crossed. We ran back into Abel, Sam met us at the gates to tell Three off, and then sent us to the med tent so the doc could make sure we’re okay. She’s banned Three from running for a week to let his ankle heal. He’s really not happy about that.


	4. Chapter 4

**MISSION REPORT - SUBMIT TO JANINE DE LUCA ONCE COMPLETED**

 

**NAME / NUMBER:** Maxine Myers

**ROLE (delete as appropriate):** ~~**RUNNER / RADIO OPERATOR** ~~ **/ MEDIC /** ~~**OTHER** ~~

**MISSION PARAMETERS:** Idiotic behaviour, apparently

**REPORT (be concise, but** **_use whole sentences_ ** **; use Runner numbers not names** **)**

Runners 3 and 4 returned to Abel after a mission. Apparently Runner 3 did something incredibly ill-advised during the run, which Sam saw fit to berate him for as soon as he was through the gates. I’m not quite sure I want to know what he did, but I’m sure Sam will fill me in later anyway.

Runner 4 is fine. No bites, no scratches, no pulls or strains. She’s fit to go back out whenever she’s needed. That is NOT permission to overwork her though.

Runner 3 is on medical restriction for SEVEN days. His ankle is tender and starting to swell slightly. He is not to go on a run, or use the track, or tackle the obstacle course, or do ANYTHING that will cause further stress to that ankle. I will reassess him at the end of the week.

According to Runner 4, he is lucky and got off lightly with just that. I don’t think she was very impressed with whatever he did to get himself injured.

Runner 3 attempted to bribe me with a bottle of Absolut vodka. It has been added to the locked disinfectant cabinet, along with the rest of the strong alcohol.


End file.
